Sunday, 31 October 2010

OFFICIALLY THE DECISION

Since this two days there a lot happen in my life, can say the worst one but not really the worst one but it realize me a lot from this two days. think that everything is fine but the truth is still the same. think that i can go with pleased with achieved my dream to make my life better and my future. so much i want to be it and now i can only dream it. really never through that everything can run like this. i do really can let this go and go for my dream but i still have my siblings here, i cant be self-fish to there and let them be around like this. i need to help them to achieved them dream and i couldn't stay it if i really lost them. because they is my main important in my life and i can let go anything even if my dream but not them. if i could choice it again, i rather not be born like this.

God, sometimes you give me too many option to my decision but in the end there also a reason for it right.?? i never want to question it but sometime it just too much for me to get it. it really broken heart to see how the family be like this. just a liittle wish, dream,hope.. it that really hard to achieved it..? it just too much to care on with life like this, i cant ever to ask more than what have we have but if there any way to get this all better i rather preference to have nothing then have this kind of broken heart.i really tired to have this feel of broken heart, i get bored it. it hurts to be like this and it hurts to get through it and it really hurts to see how broken heart we are.

Now...again broken heart and hurts again with these word and these feeling. Do we have to go until the end of our life with this..? Do we have to fight with just a small matters to get what it right..? Do we have to lost someone to get realize what have we done..?

Making a decision that could change my life for better but now have to let it go for my family life. though they will understand it and think what is the best but i guess it wrong and couldn't never change them mind. because knowing them better than my self. i should know from the beginning that this could happen again and i shouldn't hoping it soo much. because it hurts and maybe making a good decision could make everyone stay in better condition's.


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