Tuesday, 31 January 2012

Random Feelings~~ :)

Have you been hurt by someone words...? yesss! i did experience it and it really hurtful tooo hear someone say like that. trying really hard to hide those how hurt you are actually was nothing. if you get to used hear it often then you wont feel soo hurt when you hear it and it just encourage you more to became stronger and give you strength to fight on. Siting in the corner of table make me think alot that half of my life i been spending in the most hurt place and trying to get a way to let it goooo. The fact that i look n very cruel it because i want to protect my feeling, heart but sometimes we can't expect people to understand what actually we need them to know n feels..but all this questions suddenly come out make me realize that this is such a stupid way and i don't know that i been hurt everybody by this way. i though this is a place to protect and make everyone feel safe. never really know that the fact is for all i did i never really have a bad though just wanna make sure that we can be sit in a good place without fight. but i think i really such a bad person because all of this just how i feeling and it should be done by that but now everything is soo wrong and i feel that this is such a bad..i trying to help ot out but everything is misunderstand n now i have to take all those blame. but honestly in thousand time i did giviing such a bad,bad,bad impression to them. never knew that being like thing,talk,helping and act like this really get people hurt by my action. I did regret it but time wont turn back for me to do sometimes to make it better. only things i can do is forgive me and this time i will waiting outside of the boxes it small but at least this is a better comfort zone for me and us. i really dunno that i was been a closed person in this situation with you guys but i feel soo much guilty n feels that betrayed by this. but i never blame cus i know what it's is and i did expect it from the beginning of this.  With all this matter feeling for such a long time i think i did realize something which is super super double crazy answer which is I'M the only person never step forward to let goo what i been hold inside and i been kept my sky turn deep..deeep in darkness and i never see that how dark was my color now and it supposed to be Bright like others people too. This is what have kept me soo long to come out from my darker day and it make me dreaming in my land without knowing it, it almost cover all my life with deep..deeply color in my life which is almost I can't climb up to see the brightens color of my mylife. I almost gone by this dark winds~~~~

Honestly, i not saying i a pro person but i did give some advice to my friends, family but the fact if for me i always the person am i good enough to advice someone life that really need my advice  while i the one struggle in my own way and advice myself...? I dunno why but that the true and i can't help my self to figure it out. how weird life can be sometimes.  we can't understand how was it but surely sometimes it can be good news n bad news for us. Come with knowing this now, i feels i can really found a road which already wait me outside there for me get ride of it~ i dunno how mylife be now but for sure i will get back all my those dark life and turn it on my brighter days. 

"I can't help it back again but i can live my every single day with great and left all those dark days and EMPTY my feelings for the next chapter i will went through. I dunno if it's gonna easy or hard but for sure i will get through it and i know god will always stay beside me.  it did such a long way to realize but hey...hey...hey..Never too late too realize when you still can breath in this earth. Hehehehehe:) "

Sooo i excited what will wait for me outside there and i sure it will a goood day for me and Here COME the new of me ALICE!!! ALICE gambateh!!!! U CAN DO ITttttttttt....!
I get a feeling that 2012 might my years! hehehe:P 
wish me luck people! :)   


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