Saturday, 30 August 2014


OH God, just tell me the reason, feelings soo affected with this whole situation where things so sorrow to living up, too much reason where i can't decide...

Oh..where i always feelings Oh...OH...ohhhh.. did me, we, us, WASTED all the youth we have, pretty sure we doesn't share the same experience of YOUTH but everyone have it and do it their own ways. how should we do, did, to makes we WON'T wasted the those YOUTH, i always thinking that it's always in Season BUT the truly is everyday is a Season to makes your YOUTH  living in happiness of the future. cus we hold the future in the hands.  

Oh god, i need a super POWER reason, does we waste it all. just search the meaning of everything's in our life. did i? 

I find, searching all the courage to makes my life better comfort, never give up look for the quotes and the better wise word for every way i look for.. crying..crying just one of kind way to make self feels comfort but it just such a pointless cus i feeling lost in between the star... that trying to light of the dark......

Oh...everything you need, want, there price where you should have to makes it happen. nothings come free as you living, you gotta work hard to hold tight your dream. but i just don't get it cus people just work hard, work harder but it so frustrated when some people can get so way easily. just give a reason... i don't blame or what but i can't understand. got me crying over... seeing those people work harder through entire of the life but but...but.. Oh...oh...uh... Life (pray for them will have get a ONE chance to living HAPPINESS) *fingercrossed* 

Listen to this song "Lost Star", inspired me write the this post , it just so random emotional i feels tonight, and believe me it 3.16 am now. oh gosh (@_@) panda eyes soon

" .... I wish someone could see me or reaching out for someone.. it's so sorrow feeling, wake up on morning like crying so drunk..."

Tuesday, 26 August 2014

The Feel mixed

Yes, yes... i can't sleep well this few month and it's getting worst this few weeks now.. DAMN! 
it not i don't want sleep but sometimes, the brain is working too much where it like encourage me not sleep. Argh.....i just don't want waste my night without least..let's me take rest and be healthy!  :(  

that how bad my night time when i can't fall sleep.. Thinking..thinking...thinking... all i did is thinking things EVERYTHING'S while i still stuck in place will never let me get money. this is bulshit man! I mean living life like this can be good but the goods never go anywhere where you will kept getting fall..fall..fall into WORST! Get something to do bout you DAY, whatever just do somethings cus TIMES don't wait you.. yes, TIME doesn't wait you to done everything's you needs. so APPRECIATE your DAYS and people around you... that is why i regret soo much but think back at situation i been through nothing i can do to make myself regret cus i choose it to be like this ways. 

Myself stuck into very huge walls that against everything i imagine and my action. everything you could imagine always Beautiful and Lovely where you live it up cus somehow you thinking you will make it but without any ACTION towards those imagination YOU will never get inch of it.. words might seem POWER to someone but your ACTION is even more then you could say anythings. YES , i did wrong once again cus i kept reply the same mistake where mine imagination take a full CONTROL of my action and lend me to stuck place... it just feel everything's, no words can describe how weird, awful, pain, hurt, disappoint all is mixed feeling where i wish could stop the TIME again and make a fresh starttt... I wish too... 

Like the old said ...

" It's okay to feel regret in your life, cus that make you strong and won't make a second mistake for your to feel regret for same things" 

Saturday, 23 August 2014


AS we all aware that this year been really quite TRAGIC year for world and most is to my country Malaysia. It gonna just a year where all the bad things kept falling into and surely we gonna remember for rest of our life. especially to MALAYSIA.. I was totally shock when i hear the news of one the Flight MH 370 depart from Kuala Lumpur to BEIJING was missing until now not yet be found which UNEXPLAINED disappearance and I BELIEVE ALL the necessary have bee carry on with all the technology things but we only can did our BEST to find the missing flight and  we only can kept Pray, Pray and PRAY.

AND as we still sad of the missing flight OF MH370 then we ONCE again been SHOCK by one of MAS (Malaysia Flight) flight MH17 has believe was shoot down by unresponsible person and until now we still dunno who do this and I believe government will do their best to makes sure those who SHOULD responsible for this will bring those people to the justice. I just can't believe this year been really sad year to Malaysia and we as malaysia people living here still can't believe and especially to the VICTIM families member. just imagine how they feel. it feel so DAMN worst loss someone you LOVE very much... it feel so horrible knowing when they don't exit in this world anymore..

On the 22nd August 2014, were we welcome back and respect towards the bodies of victim on board MH17 where this special day we will have a observe a minute of silent and prayer and while the nationwide flags were lowered to the half-mask. where all the media TV, Radio station do the LIVE from Airport (KLIA) sepang where we see the arrived of the flight(MAS) carry the first 20 bodies among the citizen killed in MH 17...The victims' bodies have been given to their families and relatives to be laid to rest.

It's just sad and mourn day for Malaysia this day.......

Thursday, 21 August 2014

Those days....

Yes, we cant escape the fact the we will always growing up, as we all experience all kind different lifestyle.... We experience the changing of environment, the friendship, the family, the way we living, the relationship we have, the stranger, etc.....

Sometimes we imagine but to make it work, it took a thousand step to find a reason why we doing it and make it happen on your place. It’s seem easy but the true is it took LOTS hard work and positive mind to make all your DREAM come true... DREAM never easy for you to achieve but like the old saying “ if you want, then try the best possible way to make it happen, cus if it meant to be yours, there no way for your not to achieve it ” 

THERE too many reason to broke your HEARTS and THERE too many reason for you to live positive in your HEARTS... Cus day by day TIMES is ruining as we still stuck to make a choice which is better for us. We can’t understand how things will turn up for us but ONE things i can sure that WE SHOULD APPRECIATION WHAT WE HAVE NOW, CUS WE NEVER KNOW WHAT WE COULD LOSE TOMORROW..... Acting like you do’t care at all, i cant resist cus i cant be that type person, cus i feels guilty for some reason.. *being human is crazy* probably one of reason is I CAN FEELS WHAT THE LIFE HAS HE/SHE BEEN THROUGH...* cus i ever went through my darkness life , where you don’t have anybody to talk, feels so hopeless and depressed

So i guess i cant act like i don’t care at all. Although i feels people just using me for them comfort way or whatever it is. Still i can’t act like i don’t care so this is one of my weakness....

As growing up, there many things, i thinks almost everything you needs make a CHOICE where is right for you and your future. For me make those decision is HARD cus scared of making or end in my bad choice and REGRET is the last things i don’t want it happen on me but yeah.. I cant predict all IN good ways. Were now i REGRET the most of decision where the ONLY chance i has... I dunno when it will be my CHANCE again... My experience growing up went way to far for me to be exactly how it suppose to be but all i can said, i did went through those UP N DOWN in my life where i guess i became strong and tough enough for myself to survive in this world. Cus ANYTHINGS COULD HAPPEN.. Things has became lots hard and hard for this lately but yeh...i can’t give up easily cus this the LIFE where i needs to make myself survive. YOU can’t always ask for easy way to make living, YOU have to work hard to make living. It’s always okay to fails, cus those fails make you became even more AS a WIINER to everything's what you fight for in your life. You might end up didn’t get or get it but those PROCESS will became you guide for your life.. Learning never END...

  FRIENDSHIP COME AND GO, but having them is just part of your process of the life, cus them will make your JOURNEY more meaningful, beautiful and understanding. Although them can’t stay forever *some of them might stay forever, we never know* but always TREASURE what you ever have with them. Cus of them, here you ARE became although bad or good, the INFLUENCE you can’t deny. But t’s okay, if them never be the same like before cus we all deserve who is worth for US. Cus you can’t keep them forever, cus them will know someday who is better for them. So learn how to let it go when you can’t hanging on. anymore Cus it’s OKAY...Its really OKAY... *yes, i do learn how to let go some the friendship i can’t hanging on, cus i guess, this is the best * :-) BUT i still being good friend with all my friends.. 

I ALWAYS wonder what will waiting for me more in future, but yes, we can’t predict the future, we can plan but all of it we only can pray the BEST AND BEST AND BEST for the us and the future will coming....

Saturday, 16 August 2014

My celebration of 24 age! been while haven't update anything here...well, there alot going on in mylife now, there just too much for me to handle and yesss struggling for sure! I just hope and pray for the best for my future n life! *fingercrossed*

Back to the topic, recently I celebrate my birthday which sweet 24....Omggggg! I officially old now and no more TEENAGERS life..hahaha I mean I have take SERIOUSLY about my life, my future even more at age now. SAVING for die man! And it's time for me to independent myself now. But you know wat, to independent yourself...There many things have to consider especially MONEY... MONEY always the problem for me cus I can't do lots things since money is very limit for me to use. LIFE sure not easy to deal sometime cus it pretty much hurt as I kept fall and fall down and to make sure myself don't be too desperate but I just can't help myself to kept fall for it. But I know I can do it and I never wanna kept left behind and fall desperate in what I couldn't get. I just need time for myself and I just need a moment for myself in for me to do stay calm and fresh back all that been happen in my life. I just need to DO MY OWN WAY. The biggest concern to me is about worry life could be and job. I mean everyone want something that STABIL,GUARANTEED n GOOD PAYMENTS to make better living in future. Nothing could be even better when you get to do what you like.. right? So do I...but I just struggling in life which I lack in getting help..that make me fall desperate sometimes. But NO MATTER what, YOU JUST GONNA STICK TO LIFE AND GOES WITH THE FLOW NOW.. don't make yourself desperate for such long time but make sure you wake up from it as fast you can. I WISH NOTHING but the best and the best for my family always stay in good healthy and whatever they are, kept them safe always. I HOPE during my big day this time, I could became that dream I always dream about. Cus I want so badly even i fail for many times but I sure will be a day for me to achieve. Amen! :-) LAST to my BEAUTIFUL year 2014, SHOW ME SOMETHINGS BETTER TO HOPE FOR ALL THAT I WISH...STAY FOR BETTER NOW.. ♥♥♥
** Thank you for all the wish friends and especially thank you to my family that always be there during my big day. Love you guys so much! N to aleciana and eddie, thank you for celebrate my birthday, I really love you guys n thankful that you guys did the surprise for me. THANK YOU! ♥♥